For better for worse, in sickness and in health.

Maybe in the marriage ceremony they should also ask...would you be willing to change your wife's' bedpan when she is unable to move out of her bed?
In the many things that have transpired over this past week and there have been many...the constant amazement for me is how much my husband loves me. When he was changing one of my bedpans at the hospital because I was uncomfortable having the male nurse do so...he said as he gently manoeuvred me...I kind of assumed we were going to help each other when we were old, this seems kind of soon. Another thing that has humbled me beyond understanding is how much people seem to care for me. The love, care and concern that has been poured out in such abundant measures has shifted my whole mental landscape.
I have been so grateful this past week in every painful, uncomfortable, intense moment that I was spared so much worse. I am able to heal...I am able to feel...I am here. This is a new thing for me...being so helpless, so in pain, so dependent and so thankful at the same time.
I will have time to write...so come long with me and share my journey as well as yours.

His Name

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. Let your good spirit lead me on a level path. Ps. 143;10

He who forms the mountain, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the high places of earth - the Lord God Almighty is His name. Amos 4:13

I walk the dog on this road and these verses accompany me. On this particular day, the wind was blowing pretty hard, the mountains we visible and I thought...what thoughts would be revealed to me as I felt, heard and saw Amos 4:1 . However, I just heard the wind, walked the path and saw the mountains.

The interesting things is that every time I walk the dog on this path I think of this verse. Now in the routine of the walk I can picture Him treading on these high places of earth, and here in Washington we have some of those high places. How magnificent a picture to elevate the mundane. His thoughts are revealed and these are His thoughts. He is the Mountain Former, The Wind Creator, The Day Changer, The Treader of High Places...That is His name. I can see His name everywhere...stamped on the every day. In my routine, He is.

The woman in the mirror...

All these pictures of me have been taken in this past year. Lately, looking in the mirror has caused me some concern. I don't know about you but as much as I wish it did not matter...it does. It matters way to much and that has been reflected in the money I have spent on hair color...make-up...clothes. I yearn...actually yearn for the promises made in the make-up aisle to be true. If only this cream would erase all those wrinkles, lighten those spots, brighten my eyes, whiten my teeth..erase, blend, hide, take away and make me young-ish again.

One of my ESL students told me to stop wrinkling my forehead when I was talking, he told me it would make my wrinkles there deeper.

I was sitting with a dear friend the other day and she said she had come to a decision in her life. She was watching her daughter try on a pair of shorts she had worn not too many years ago...she remembered how she freaked out at that time for the 10 pounds she had gained. Today, looking back she wishes she had just enjoyed how she looked rather then how she didn't. So she has decided that when she looks in the mirror today, she will be grateful because she could and may look a lot worse a few years down the road.

This is true for most of us...the best years for how we appear are most likely behind us. As I get older I wrestle with this conundrum. I am much more confident in who I am, what I think, what I know...so much less in how I appear. Where is that sweet spot? Where your confidence matches your appearance? Where one doesn't trump the other? Did it come and go without me even enjoying the moment?

Will I like the woman in the mirror and give her a break? Let her grow old, let her have grey hair and a wrinkled brow with humor and grace? Will I enjoy the freshness of the young without grieving my own losses? Ahh these intimate questions of self-worth. In this humorless society that glorifies beauty and minimises grace...how do I negotiate these waters? Will beauty shine through me even if I don't wear it on me?

When I see her, this woman in the mirror...we'll smile. Today...some of the creams are working, the grey almost looks like blond and if I don't wonder too much I won't wrinkle my forehead. We'll be OK and OK isn't bad.

So....what are you thinking?

I took a field trip with the Seniors at LC to 3 worship centers; Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist. This is right up my alley of interesting things to do and it was in all the usual ways. Remarkable how sincere we are in our faiths.
We love our places of worship, we have all the right answers, we order our lives in certain ways and we even have the answers to why the other faith is wrong in what they believe. The problem always is what do we do about Jesus.

If we talk only about God we can kind of ..except for the Buddhist, have an understanding but it all falls apart when we talk about Jesus. That whole trinity thing just messes up the Jews and the Muslims. What to do about Jesus...what to do...
Oh I know...make him one of the prophets or don't talk about him at all.

OR...Let Him translate you from the domain of darkness and bring you into the kingdom of Light. (Collosians) I'll go with The Translator....I want to follow Him.

My daughter the matchmaker

..Just a short peek at Mijo..just a taste on how well she did in Fiddler on the Roof.

What a gift to me she is...

Am I missing something?

Dreams, visions, a Word...I have always wanted this kind of relationship with God. Direction via dreams, assurance via a word spoken, confirmation from an outside source about an inside truth. I have been to many a meeting where God speaks to someone about something and I have waited for that word for me. Friends of mine have dreams, invitations, visions about the next place they are to go...what they are to do and for what great plan they are a part of.
Am I missing something in my relationship with God? Is that kind communication for only the few? Am I just in a wrong denomination? Wouldn't that be sad if God did not communicate in this fashion because the denomination did not think He did...that would be so sad.
I know people limit God's expression, I don't want to. I would be overjoyed to have a dream, a vision and Word of confirmation...anything. BUT...and there always seems to be that big BUT, my relationship with God runs in the normal parameters; A feeling, a sense, a great verse, beautiful creation, a good book. I feel I am missing something though...like I have been swimming in a pond when I have been invited to swim in the Ocean. I just don't know how to get there...or even if I am invited.