Skipping moments

I stop often in a day and think how fun it would be to write a post about the moment. Moments that fill my day that settle into a contentment of sorts. Love that feeling and that choice...contentment. The thing is with these skipping moments is that they are like the smile of a baby. They come with a surprise and leave before everyone can gather and enjoy.
I will list them but even in the compilation , the words can't express the moment.
My chicken pot pie that tasted so amazingly wonderful...I was really hungry.
Playing Wii with Scott and looking so funny while trying to canoe "virtually".
Listening to Nick tell me about his trip to Seattle and really not understanding what he was trying to say.
Mijo and I bumping into each other in the hallway at school and laughing because I caught her with a thought plastered across her face.
The cat venturing out into the living room in spite of Mocha the ever present dog.
Hard rain...really hard rain and hail.
Plants ready to be planted...green and fresh and promises of spring and fresh garden food.
Moving my furniture around...a fresh approach to the living room.
Talking about the Resurrection to those who have no idea what I am talking about.

More and more I realize in all the bad...there are sprinkled moments of pure joy. The heaviness of the news, the reality of the bills, the rancor of the media and the politicians, the sheer stupidity of choices...there are moments skipping by to enjoy.

Grace and what it looks like to an 8th grade boy

It all started out quite simple. Let's play a game. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon with nothing to do but be a wonderful happy family. We attempted but failed miserable. It looked so easy, play a board game, laugh at funny jokes, engage in witty conversations. Nick wanted to play Risk, we ended up playing Disney Scene It. Nick is becoming quite passive aggressive. He knows he can't confront head on with all of us strong personalities so he has become the passive aggressive soldier. He took the Risk game out, started reading the rules and placing all the game pieces out WHILE we were playing Disney Scene it. He answered reluctantly even though Mijo was enthusiastically trying to get us all in a party mood. Nick anchored every enthusiastic win. He dragged every happy moment. I finally had enough and shut down the game. I was so frustrated. Why can't we be a Happy family? Why oh Why?
Then he had the audacity to ask me to get him a pop when I went to the store. I had just yelled at him concerning his really bad attitude AND then he asks me to get him a pop. What kind of kid is he anyway.
Walking in the grocery store I am still frustrated at him...then I see the Mountain Dew. We don't allow Nick to drink Mountain Dew at home. It has way too much sugar and caffeine. So he sneaks this Dew when he is away from us as if it was an illicit drug.
I bought him the Dew.

Treading Water

Treading water: the ability to stay afloat but not to move ahead.

It seems of late that no matter the good intentions, the noble plans, the just the right word at the right time...nothing moves. It is like the exercising that I do...I have yet to break the barrier where I am not afraid of the consequent pain. So, I tentatively do my routine to maintain but not to strengthen. I won't call the doctor for a well check up because I am afraid of bad news. There is nothing going wrong but since the accident last May, I know something can happen at any time with no warning. Ignorance is bliss at the moment. Treading water seems to be safe place at the moment. The foray's I make seem to come up empty which magnifies the feeling of inadequacy.

I have a student who I had to call out yesterday, he was sleeping. Not only that day but every day for the last week. He says to me..."I liked this class when we started but it is really boring now". I told him that I was sorry he felt that way, but I knew that others were interested in the content. I told him he could drop the class...which he did. No matter how hard you try in areas you have had success...there is the fly in the proverbial ointment.

Impasse...treading water...uncertainty...insecurity...fear!

I love swimming and if there was a sport I probably could have been good at, it would have been swimming. What I love about the tropics is that swimming is so much part of the context of living. The water is usually warm. I tread water to see rest, to see where I need to go, to wait for someone who is a slower swimmer, to look around at the scenery. Maybe treading water at the moment is not such a bad thing to be doing. I am still in the water...I have not given up the swim.

So, I guess these are the random thoughts of a treader of water...where are you in the swim of things.

Babbling

In class right now I have several Chinese students talking about something. I can't figure out if they are mad, sad or just giving out information. Often I try and listen and figure out what is going on just by their tone...most often their babbling is just that. I hear different accents in Chinese now...though I have no idea what is being said. This language is so much a part of my day though it is familiar, I have no idea what is being said. How long would I have to listen before I really begin to understand? I can't even pick up individual words at the moment...but I know it is Chinese.
I often think that this is how I hear God. He is speaking all the time, I recognize His accent but I have no idea what He is trying to communicate. When I read His word...the stories flow over me like a fresh spring creek...but do I understand what I am suppose hear? Often times I really think He is shouting in Chinese and I don't have a translator. I hear the familiar babble of sound pouring from His creation, I don't hear His words. Never to insinuate that God babbles , my Chinese students know what they are saying to each other. They are not ignorant of their ability to communicate in their language...I just don't know it.
So how do I learn the language of God? Does He speak English?

Silence

You all know the silence that is really loud. The measured distance created by the absence of words. One of the ways that I deal with issues any issues really is to be quiet. I gather all my resources, my issues and go into a created cave of sorts and wait. I don't know what I am waiting for but I wait nonetheless. I teach a Family Psychology to High school seniors here at LC and we often talk about resolving relational issues, how to..what steps to take etc. After 7 years of teaching this subject I can't seem to take my own advice. How to be assertive, how to manage my issues in community, how to not isolate. Isolation being the key defense mechanism of choice.

I wonder what is so comforting about silence. If I don't talk about it maybe it really isn't an issue.

I seem to be able to write about it though (smile)!

It is quiet here in the house.