Christmas opine

This year I have gone overboard with the gifts and the spending. Not so much with the baking and the family time or the parties and the decorations...buying gifts and spending money that has been my evil bent this Christmas season. I don't know if it is evil but I am sure we can all make the case that this is probably the least meaningful part of the Christmas season. I don't know though...being able to buy gifts for my kids and husband brings me much joy. I know I should do more for the less fortunate and we do here and there but never to the extent that we could. I know I should probably make more of an effort to connect with my extended family...but they are far away not only physically but relationally as well. I should, I could but I am responding rather then initiating and as a result not really busy. I haven't even spent a lot of time in the Christmas story...here and there with some thoughts and ideas but nothing like I used too as you can tell with the amount of posts. I have enjoyed evening with Scott around the fireplace watching a random show or movie. I have neither overextended myself or even indulged in too much in food. I haven't gone to many parties or invited any one over.

It has been a wonderful season.

Mijo has been out a lot and Nick has been working and playing his Xbox game...but they are here and their presence fill in the quiet.

It has been a wonderful season...but, and there always is a but.

I wish for connections, involvement, community outside my immediate family. But wishing and wanting is only good if it motivates to action...not so much yet. I should...I guess, but like family relationships I am also responding rather then initiating.

I maybe should have, could have or would have...I just didn't. It is a wonderful season and I wish you all a Merry Merry Christmas...and an amazing New Year. Thank you for reading my many ramblings, this is an ongoing gift to me. Let's see what happens next...

Silent night Holy night

What makes something holy? When is there glory? What is a spiritual experience? What prayers are heard? What is my dream? What do I still want to do? What do I want? When will what is comfortable and predictable give me a rash? What does normal look like?

When it is a silent night...it isn't in my head !

a conversation

In class the other day we moved from count and non-count nouns to belief in the after life. How we moved in that direction I don't know but I have a great belief in the power of the rabbit trail style of teaching. Not all the time but occasionally rabbit trails lead to the best kind of conversations. As we talked around the table the conclusion was, 2 did not believe in anything in the after life, 2 in reincarnation and then there was me.

" I believe in Science, but I have much respect for religion" one said apologetically. "No problem", I said..." I believe in God, and have much respect for science"...we both laughed. We talked about being afraid of dying and what it would mean to be reincarnated. One of the students asked how reincarnation could be possible since we have so many more people now then before. I told her there must have been some really good animals who moved on to being human. Everything was casual and informative...as the bell rang to end class a student asked, "Why do you believe in God, teacher?"

I don't think I have even been asked that question. I don't even know a time when I did not believe in God...but why do I believe?

I read somewhere that the simplest reason to believe in God was to have someone to thank..often that is good enough for me. Other times I need a bigger story to make sense of all the smaller stories or the complicated reasons to make sense of morality and justice. These are reasons why I believe. These are not the only reasons. I could not even begin to tell this student why...she had to go to class and I was left with a sense that I had lost an opportunity.

It does not matter if and why I believe ultimately...but I had better know.

I wish I had known enough to say...I believe in God simply because of Jesus.

For the Mighty One has done Great things for me

His mercy Extends
He has performed Mighty deeds
He has brought down rulers
He has filled the hungry
He has helped his servant Israel

It would be so great if God would do His Mighty things here at LC. The lethargy towards the things of God translated to everyday behavior is conspicuously absent. AS I write this blog I hear in the background the students singing in chapel. This particular expression of worship is the most visible aspect of these kids faith. I am often surprise who is singing, who is raising their hands when in the hallways not 5 minutes later they are swearing, slandering and complaining. The leap from one act of worship to the next expression of worship is sadly unconnected. How we treat each other being that other expression of worship. When we look at the Mighty one...we have to at the same time honor the created one. If and when students and staff would get this..I believe the Mighty things of God would commence.

Favor

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be....

All he said was" Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Gabriel is having a hard time communicating his intent to the people on his list. He just finished with Zechariah and said one sentence to Mary and she is greatly troubled already. He hasn't even told her what she really should be troubled at... the BIG news hasn't come out yet.

The next thing he says is..."Do not be afraid, Mary you have found favor with God."

If the first thing I heard from an Angelic being was that I was highly favored and the Lord was me...I don't think I would be troubled or afraid, I think I would be encouraged. Finally I would know for sure that God loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life.

Favored though is a different kind of word then love. Favored kind of has the flavor of chosen and maybe that is why Mary felt a bit troubled. She knew her peoples history of what it means to be chosen, of the few who were asked to do something for the Almighty. It usually isn't easy!

Maybe it was like being asked to do God a favor...Mary, would you do me a HUGE favor and carry my son? But not really...God wasn't asking Mary but telling her. There wasn't an option for Mary to negotiate. She asked some clarifying questions and said, "Ok...may it be as you said. I am the Lord's servant." I like her, this Mary who has been worshiped, revered and honored since this time. I like her because she said yes even though she knew what the consequences were. Her courage and determination in the face of what was to come...Her life from that moment would never be the same. Her relationships, her standing in her community, her future ...everything from that yes forward would take her into His favor.

Bravo Mary !

Taking away my disgrace

"In these days he has shown he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people." Elizabeth's sigh

The spilling over of God's plan involved an old couple, a disgraced woman and a longing fulfilled. God could have chosen another...but like his MO from old he chose a barren woman to carry the special child. Think...Sarah, Rebeca, Rachel...

A silent husband...a beaming mother to be. It was her time to shine and husband could not do a thing about it. I have a feeling that Zechariah was a wonderful man....he had not left his barren wife and remained faithful all his days...BUT maybe with this position as a priest and the smallness of the community, he might have had a lot to say about a lot of things.

He could not talk...Elizabeth had the floor...but she went into seclusion. Silent husband, hidden away wife... pregnancy at an advanced age...this is the Talk of the Town but no one is talking. My the rumors must have flown...

There is an awkwardness with those who can't have children. Do you invite them to the shower? Do you tell them about your 2nd pregnancy? It is a silent SCREAM...Elizabeth must have withstood a lot of questions, awkward silences, changes the subject for many years. She must have come to an understanding, a way to letting people know that she rejoiced with them in their wonderful news but that she still was sad and embarrassed that she could not produce a new life in her womb. How God knows how women on the inside feel...He restores an old woman's reputation while 6 months later...destroys a young woman's...Go figure !

It was a conversation between the two of them...God and his daughter. What a time of giggling and wonder must have occurred as her heart overflowed. She could not talk to her husband...she talked to her Maker. Secrets of the best kind !!!

A labor of love this journey of hope...He still does this, this taking away of disgrace. You have had those conversations in secret places. It is why you smile at odd times...and breath deep even now.

Well, shut my mouth! Luke 1:19

How can I be sure of this? I have an excuse not to believe what you say can be true...I am an old man and my wife is well along in years...

That was really nice for Zechariah not to call Elizabeth old...well along in years sounds so much better. Zechariah had just been told that he was going to have a baby boy after all these years and no matter how scary and amazing that angel's message was... his first reaction is...I really don't think what you say is true.

I AM GABRIEL (little human who should know better). I STAND IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD AND HAVE BEEN SENT TO SPEAK TO YOU AND TO TELL YOU THIS GOOD NEWS. (unbelievable this priest...he comes once in his lifetime before the altar and I stand before the Almighty every moment...how can he not believe what I say is true? I'll show him that being afraid is normal behavior...but unbelief is nothing to ignore) AND NOW YOU WILL BE SILENT AND NOT ABLE TO SPEAK UNTIL THE DAY THIS HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU DID NOT BELIEVE MY WORDS, WHICH WILL COME TRUE AT THEIR PROPER TIME.

I know that Gabriel did not shout...but I am sure there was a tone.

How can I be sure that God loves me...How can I really be sure that I am God's workmanship, created to do God's work...How can I be sure that All things work together for good...How can I be sure that His mercies are new every morning...How can I be sure that really all have sinned and fall short...How can I can be sure that there is no condemnation...How can I be sure...

It is amazing we are not all mute !

Oh Zechariah

I love this man because he was doing everything right even when nothing was going right for him. My theme this Christmas is hope and the verse that I am going to refer to often is in 1 Thess. 1:3.

Work produced by faith, labor prompted by love and endurance inspired by hope.

Now there was a priest named Zechariah and his wife Elisabeth..both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly...but they had no children.
Work produced by faith...Zechariah and Elizabeth. Doing all the right things but not getting the right rewards. They had no children because Elisabeth was barren AND now there was no hope because they were both well along in years.

I like that they are still faith full even in their disappointment. That in the unwrapping of the spectacular gift of all gifts, God chose to spill his wonder over on this faithful little old family. I must say that of all the Christmas stories, this one says more about the character of God then the Wise men or shepherds, Angels or even Mary and Joseph.
He gets chosen by lottery to go into the temple of the Lord to burn incense..he meets Gabriel one of the three named angels of the Bible...but we will go into that a little later.
Today...work produced by faith. Hope in the hopeless, faithful in disappointment...trusting anyway. Hope is colored by disappointment...they walk together those seeming antonyms. God knows...and in the expanse of human history He sees your faithfulness...don't loose heart...not yet.