Lent

Can I give up going to church for Lent?  Would that be wrong...

Yes, it has been that long

It is already the middle for the month of February and crazy is understated in its description. I think it has been busy for many, but because my head was down and moving forward I did not look around to see what others were doing.  Life is funny like that...The more busy one becomes the more myopic the view, the more insular the perspective and the more lonely one  feels. Being busy even when not in your control...steals more than it delivers. What fascinates me is when being busy is chosen deliberately...as if being myopic, insular and lonely is the desired result.  Beign busy makes us feel important and necesary and relevant.. even though that is the intention it isn't the reality.
I really hate being busy...I hate not having down time, and lazy afternoons and evening full of meanderings in and out of the living room. Sometimes I can't choose the calendar events due to the requirements of my job but it has taken me a week to sleep well through the night, have my neck un spasm and have my legs not seize up on me while I am sitting down. 
As I wind down, Scotty is winding up. We call it the harvest time refinery style. He will be working 6 nights in a row, 10-12 hour days for about 6-8 weeks. He is also living on his own in a place close to the refinery so that he can sleep, eat and work without the interruptions of living in a family. He is harvesting...it is seasonal. In mid-April we should be back to 'normal'.
Choose well your 'busy' time...make it seasonal and temporary...long term unnecessary busy damages more then you can know. Just an FYI.

eating free

Since November I have been trying to change my diet so that I eat less carbohydrates. It really isn't that hard now and I have no idea if I am feeling better as I had felt good prior. I am turning 50 this year and I know as I have been told by many who have gone before that maintaining anything will be nigh impossible unless I am intentional about being intentional about my eating. I do love bread and any kind of potato but oh well.

So, I have been careful and diligent and all that wonderful discipline stuff that comes easy to some in my family (Scott).  On Friday night we watched a movie about the end of the world and in one scene a woman was saying that she was eating everything she wanted because the world was going to end...Made me think...How fun would that be, eating everything with no consequence.

Sunday we went to a restaurant in Anacortes and the only thing on the menu that seemed OK was this plate that had in its title...Mac & Cheese . I read eggs and bacon and spinach. Eggs, bacon and spinach doesn't have a lot of carbs...Mac and Cheese though...does.  Funny, how I overlooked the simple words, Mac& cheese.
As he placed this plate in front of me I gasped. There in all its yummy pre-apocalyptic comfort food wonder was  Mac & Cheese, with 2 fried eggs on top sitting on a bed of bacon . There was some green but more color then taste.  WOW...was it every GOOD. As I ate the first bite...I sat in wonder at how great it would be if there were no consequence to this plate of anti-healthy. The second bite was even better then the first...full of crunchy bacon, egg and cheesy macaroni. About the 6th bite...it wasn't tasting as wonderful...and then I just stopped eating. Scott asked me if I didn't like it...
" No, it is really very very good...I just have worked so hard these past few months that even though this is just one plate of food...the pleasure of the temporary taste does not outweigh the effort it has taken to get to this place where it wasn't missed."  The ability to pack it up and give it to my calorie burning son was a great victory for me....YES...food's pleasure does not win over my desire to be healthy. The meteor is not coming, I have not been given a pass to treat my concerted effort over these past months with something so deliberately bad for me.

Small victory in the long road before me....