The orange background and the start of the Hoopla's

I really do like orange but this background is a bit much but in lieu of all the celebrations in the month of August it seemed appropriate. Today is the beginning and it all starts with our anniversary. 9 years for my Scotty and me, only 9. It really seems longer maybe because we have packed so much into them.
First year...I lost my job as Assistant Principal, very difficult.
Second year...major trials and arguments between the both of us to begin with but much more significantly, Scott's wonderful mother passed.
Third year...Scotty works away for most the year in Tacoma
Anyway...not really knowing what has transpired in each year, needless to say...Scotty has lost both his parents, I have lost jobs, we went overseas, we had major injuries and medical bills, we have argued and fought and argued again trying to figure out how to live with each other { we were old when we married each other :) } Scott has worked away 3 out of the 9 years and every year has had significant absence except for he year we were in Papua. I also finished my MA in the middle of it all and changed job titles every year.
We have packed a lot in nine years and we have come through better, leaner, kinder, and more in love then when we began.
I love being loved by this man...He holds me in and lets me go. I am so so grateful.

Safe Place

I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me about a church in Oregon that described itself as a safe place to struggle. If there isn't a better definition of what a church is supposed to be then I don't know what is. If you have followed my blog for any length of time you know I have had a struggle with church. Not the body of Christ church but the local American church we all attend. Instead of struggling with church, church is/supposed to be that safe place to struggle.
Think about everything we struggle with ...marriages, parenting, finances, sexuality, singleness, significance...wouldn't it be great if we had a place where we go with all our struggles.
A Pastor in a large city told me that what he listens to in his daily counseling by far is sexual sins... that seething underside of every person's outside calm demeanor.
Church...a safe place to struggle. How that looks in the every day functioning of the church...I guess it is the face we portray. How clean do we come, or how clean do we become.

15 year old boys

15 year old boys trying so hard to be 18, at least.
So full of anger and bravado , shaking their collective fists at all those ahead who just won't listen.
Riding bikes with contempt, it isn't the wheels they want to ride. So close to freedom but months divide the coveted vehicle.
Screaming for respect with every awkward argument.
15 year old boys,all potential.

Hope you all are still here ....

It is already August 7th and it has been a while since I have posted. I am in full swing summer mode where I have mastered the art of puttering a day away without a moment of guilt. Morning and evening have moved into each other seamlessly not broken up with lists and events and places to be. It is quite lovely with warm weather to accompany these wonderful days of summer.
I am also looking forward to Fall and my students and the new school year...and Winter with its cold rainy days and warm fires and holidays and the business of a schedule. There is season for everything under the sun and I will no longer wish one over the other but dive in the joy of each one.

updates...

The road ahead...
When we went on our road trip I was mesmerized with the scene pictured. Maybe because I was raised with mountains that surround there is something wonderful about wide open spaces. I am still surrounded by mountains but they are more suffocating to me then protective. I can tell when I drive up to Mt. Baker there is a point on that highway where I literally start feeling closed in, the mountains rise up and seem so foreboding. So when I see wide open spaces I physically relax...begin to breath more deeply. Maybe that is why I like the ocean rather then the woods, the prairies rather then the Rockies. That really isn't an update but a tidbit of information. :)
Scotty is progressing rather well. He is so motivated to get better. Remember when I was trying to heal quickly...well his motivation is far beyond what I could have and did muster. I knew he was like that but it is pretty amazing to watch as he pushes ever so gently on his his newly mended ligaments. One thing about Scott that is so admirable and frustrating is his discipline. I get mad at him for wanting to go and work out simply because it makes me feel so amazingly undisciplined. While I loath the workout he embraces it.
On another update note...I am now the new International Program Director for Lynden Christian High School. Having been the International Host family Coordinator...that's a mouthful...I have been promoted to this position. Robb, the outgoing Director has left such a great program I am hoping to keep building on his foundation. This will entail more work on what I am already doing but I am ready to be busier. Scott may be gone in September so all of everything may fall pretty heavily right off the bat...but preparation has begun.
On a side...Mijo and Nick are both working really hard in the raspberries and cherry's respectively. Mijo went to work at 5 last evening and came home at 3:30AM. Nick has been getting up at 3:45 AM and literally running till he gets off at 2-3PM. He has been in Eastern WA and comes home this Saturday. They are busy, Scott and I not so much right now. Kind of a strange reversal in roles. As everyone struggles so with the heat...we may not get out of the 60's today. Another normal abnormal summer.

Blooming flowers !

I think it's the color that attracts me much like the bee. The shape of the petals, the scent...maybe it's everything about the flower. You know that verse that tells us to consider the lily of the field..clothed in splendor...how much more does He care. Mijo asked me the other day what pieces of wisdom would I have wanted to know at her age. That girl knows how to warm my heart :). Of course I had a plethora of things to say but one thing came out of my mouth that surprised me. I said the older I get the harder it is to believe that God loves us. Maybe age brings with it an awareness of how ugly we are as a human race but maybe not even that far out..how ugly I am as a human being and why would God expend any of His extravagant energy on loving any of us.
Then I look at flowers...their extravagant beauty in shape, size and color and all for just a moment. I know the biology of colors and bees etc. but God certainly did not have to make it all work out that way. Not only the flowers we painstakingly grow but the wild meadows of bursting joy for no one but the Creator to enjoy tucked away in the mountain valleys expresses His love in the minutia. If He so meticulously shaped these flowers with the rainbow of colors and shapes and smells...why is it so hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that He finds joy in the beauty He has made in each of us. Granted we do much more then sit around and be beautiful...but maybe God enjoys us as we enjoy His creation in spite of our thorns. I know He hates what makes us ugly but then we do as well...who enjoys ugly?
So summer is a garden of beauty and I will take time to contemplate those flowers in the field, in my garden, in my pictures.

Bringing fourth the 4th

These children of ours:

So we went to the fourth of July celebrations ... the last time I had done this with the kids Nick was sitting in my lap, plugging his ears because of the noise and we were all not having a wonderful time. At that time, both children did not like LOUD noises...which we could only find out when LOUD noises were present. Needless to say, 10 years latter it went much more smoothly. Scott had to stay home because dogs don't seem to out grow their fear.
I love fireworks...they are just pure joy and celebration. We got to the park 4 hours ahead of time because I was afraid we would not get good seats. We were there WAY to early, BUT because were there early, I got to dance, watch people and goof off with my lovely children. I like belonging to this country. I became a citizen about 11 years ago after being a resident alien ( love that description...was hard to let go) since 1976. Being born in Papua to a Dutch father and French mother, my cultural identity has always been in flux. USA is a great country to take all those loose ends of cultural identity and help weave together a place to belong. There are not that many countries in the world that you can belong no matter your genesis.
This is a great country....I love that I belong.