Out there...

 ... somwhere.

Facebook and now Pintrest creates in me an unsettled feeling. As I observe through updates and pictures the travels of others, the creative ideas implemented and the great new ideas I think I have somehow missed the great somewhere out there. If I am not traveling with abandon I am missing the global secrets of life. If I am not creating a new space, redefining my body in a new shape or being with a best friend over a creatively designed centerpiece full of flowers and shiny objects. I have somehow missed ...living. If I don't see worth in every day or every person...or take that specific picture that encapsulates everything...I have missed a grand opportunity. Is it me or have we become as a whole voyeurs of others’ lives while at the same time being dissatisfied with our own?  

 I posted once that Facebook makes me interested in lives I would have never even thought about. It also makes me judgmental, irritated, jealous, condescending, compassionate, anxious and aware on a level of community that will never be a reality. Is this healthy...or am I like everything overthinking and overanalyzing. Well, I am not around people very much in the summer  and I have a lot of thinking time...Maybe I am.

Still...

Heart and Soul

 I want to be a runner. I hate running. Running seems the quickest avenue to being fit, my family all runs, it seems a good way to stave off the extra pounds that are supposed to arrive uninvited as I enter my middle year and last but not at all least...runners are cool. I still hate running.
So I bought an App...Couch to 5K. In X number of weeks if I follow the automated extremely motivated voice on my IPod I will effortlessly run a 5K. We will see...though I realize this about myself, I really don't like to be told what to do by anyone or now, anything. BUT...I want to be a runner even though I hate running. I will abide and do what little tin voice tells me to do.

So that will take care of my heart...my soul on the other hand also needs come impetus to be disciplined. I don't hate the Word...this is good but I have been slack in my reading and listening and praying disciplines. So I think if I run for my heart, I will read for my soul...this works in tandem I think. A two pronged effort into the small disciplines that affect the largeness of living.

I also have an App for that. :)

Summer time and the living is ....

Live in THIS moment, the fortune tells me. As if I don't know this but somehow can't seem to remember.  I am on the down side of an up week. Last week was full of THIS MOMENT kind of living.  5th Avenue Awards night, Last supper with International students, Graduation speech and evening, Graduation party and parties and now all is quiet and I am in restorative mode. It was a most excellent week and a most exhausting one.  Summer time and the living needs to be restorative.

Scott is turning 50 this August, Mijo 18, Nick 16 and we will be married 10 years. Summer time and the living is a celebration. My father has a thing for numbers..times when turning an age is more significant than others. This year would be a significant year, and it all happens in August. Us on the 10th, Scott on the 15, Mijo on the 16th and Nick on the 25th.  Since I don't know how to put a party together really well...I am trying to figure it out now. Summer time and the living is a celebration.

Summer time and the living is creative. I have projects to do and things to make. When I become creative I become content. I have a quilt to make, rooms to clean and decorate, gardens to produce, books to read and thoughts to ponder.

Summer time and the living is healthy.  I want to exercise more consistently, eat healthier and drink more water.  The rush of the school year wears on me and I want to get into a habit of eating, sleeping and exercising so that when the rush comes again, I am in a habit.

Summer time and the living is simple...friends, family and fun.

Like a salt shaker

It used to be that every time I went to a restaurant I would try and balance the salt shaker on its side. Sprinkle some salt on the table and see if you can balance it just so for it to stay tilted on its side for just a few moments. I was able to balance this salt shaker long enough to take a picture, I was particularly balanced that day.

It really isn't a measure of my state of mind on the given day that I happen to be in restaurant with a good salt shaker and an even table...I just like to think it is. 

I would like to think I can balance life's demands that easily. As elusive as it is for me to attain this balance with a salt shaker in any given restaurant, so it is true with life. Balance is illusive and precarious.  

Moderation and Balance are often replacements for peace and contentment. However, I think the peace we are promised is when we can't balance and life does not bring with it moderation. We think that the more we can control, the more we can balance the more we will be happy. I don't know about you but life is a pendulum, and balance and moderation is only on the swing through between the extremes. It is very much like a salt shaker on a restaurant table.

I am learning to find those moments and instead of assuming it should be the norm, appreciating the fact that I was able to pause in the middle of the swing.

and so it goes ..part 2

Mijo and I for our JSB.

Dear Mijo,

You burst into the house yesterday with the news of your nomination to 5th Ave. That's just it, you burst everywhere with good news, exciting news, sad news, complicated friendship news...you burst tears, songs, joy, love, animosity, frustration...life is always bursting out of you.  There have been some where this is too much, too much of this bursting...It is never too much, it is you.
Your will to control all those around you, to help them conform into that you think is best has been such an interesting if not frustrating thing to watch. Your determination to change yourself always blows me away. AS you finished your 1/2 marathon, those last few miles as you ran with friend you made along the way, I saw you apart from me, clearly your very own.
We are so proud of you, I beam when I see you and hear about you. I can't imagine home without your bursts...how I will miss you, my daughter of my heart.

Me

and so it goes

This is Mijo's 8th grade graduation in Sentani...I remember this day like it was yesterday. I remember what I was thinking as I wrapped my arms around this lovely daughter of mine. She had struggled and overcome in this brand new place that was my home. I was so proud of her and this is what I wrote on that day..

Dearest Mijo,

OK, so what happened exactly? How did you become so old so quickly?. I know you were born just the other day, in all your wonder and newness.

What an amazing gift you have been, every expression of hope, joy, despair, surprise dances across your beautiful face. We haven’t even started to talk about your compassionate, dramatic, gentle, spontaneous servant soul.

When you were about 5 years old, you were starting to learn to write your letters. We were on the letter C and you kept writing the C backwards. Finally, after a while of seeing your backward C I sat down and explained that the C if you wanted to write it correctly pointed the other direction. I thought it was a matter of education; you just needed to know the right way of doing things.

 

You looked at me and said, “No, I like my C’s to point this way”.

“Well Mijo, you may like them that way, but there is a rule about how C are supposed to be written…you can’t just change it, you aren’t the ruler of the universe”.

Under her breath she said quietly...”Not yet”.

I thought in that moment we were in for a long road ahead. It has been a road but not a long one. We can’t imagine how much less our family would be without you and your dramatic imaginations and consistent love.

We so love all that you are and all that you are becoming.

We are so proud of you and who you are choosing to be…Especially since you have decided Who the ruler of the universe is and that it isn’t you.

Your Dad and Mom.

Now, she is graduating from High school...

10 reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained For Ministry

This isn't mine, I found...laughed and want to share.

10 reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained For Ministry.

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. The pastoral duties of men who have children might distract them from the responsibility of being a parent.

8. The physique of men indicates that they are more suited to such tasks as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do ministerial tasks.

7. Man was created before woman, obviously as a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. Their conduct at football and basketball games demonstrates this.

5. Some men are handsome, and this will distract women worshipers.

4. Pastors need to nurture their congregations. But this is not a traditional male role. Throughout history, women have been recognized as not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more fervently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are prone to violence. No really masculine man wants to settle disputes except by fighting about them. Thus they would be poor role models as well as dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. The New Testament tells us that Jesus was betrayed by a man. His lack of faith and ensuing punishment remind us of the subordinated position that all men should take.

1. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep sidewalks, repair the church roof, and perhaps even lead the song service on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the church.

UPDATED 5/2: Thanks to our commenters, we’ve tracked down the original source. This list is the work of Dr. David M. Scholer, a former professor at Fuller Theological Seminary.