The engine is starting up...

We have been sitting on idle all summer and the engine just turned over. The machine called the school year has begun its preparations and you can feel the rumble in the hallways. No matter how many days I came in this summer to help me prepare, I am still rattled a bit by the loudness of the sound.
 Looking ahead, this year will be much less stressful then last year. I am down about 10 students and I am not teaching 2 classes. At the peak of my busy I was so overwhelmed with what I had, that I insisted on help. Now that I have it...I am not so inundated. I am grateful for the better pace of it all and will be able to implement what I have not had the time to do in the past.
The engine that sweeps us along is pretty huge and all encompassing. This is also the last year I have with one of ours in High school. After this year...OK...the engine will idle soon enough, and it will be sad and we will wonder how fast it went and I will be amazed that our son has graduated.
So bitter sweet this rumble in the hallway.
Sigh

a small nudge

I should be talking about my husbands 51st birthday today, or my daughter 19th tomorrow or my sons 17th in a week...but all that is on my mind, an ever looming 50th of mine coming in about 3 weeks. If I lived to 100, I would be half done but we are not given our days on earth and all the funerals I have attended in the last few years, not one was a person in their 100's let alone 90's or even 80's. So...longevity isn't a certainty at all.

My Dad has a thing for numbers and dates and significance of any or all of those. 50 seems like a big deal and for me...it is. I am not fearing it like I did my 40's. I just feel like something needs to change in the trajectory of my life, a small nudge now that will embark us towards a different life. The problem is I don't know what that nudge is...

But this significant year...I would like to make small nudges that move me towards becoming a different person, a better person, a simpler person, a healthier person, a kinder person, a happier person. A person in community.

What about a godlier person?

I just said that...

Now back to the husband, the daughter and the son....investing in them will always be my best nudge.

all it takes is a small nudge to make a HUGE difference

could this also be true....

Last Sunday the woman, who was preaching, asked us what our thoughts were on the passage of scripture she had talked about the week previous. It is the story of the man by the pool of Bethesda who waited 38 years for someone to help him get into the pool. Everyone participated and it was a lively discussion. What I wondered and I seem to do this a lot...isn't so much about the man who was healed but the many at the same pool on that same day who were not. Jesus asked him what he wanted...but just asked him as far as we know. Ironically Scotty heard a message from Joni Erickson Tada who for the last 40 years has waited in her wheelchair, not healed, waiting and sitting at that proverbial pool on that Sabbath day.

Often times in our 'its all about me' culture we think we are the named disciple, the one is healed, the one who is spoken too, the one who is chosen, rather than the countless unnamed followers of Jesus and overlooked sick and paralyzed waiting by the road or pool.  In my walk of faith, I haven't gotten a Word, a vision, a special revelation, an audible calling or vocational inspiration. When I talk about trusting God, I still make sure there is money in our bank account and pay for insurance. When we get sick, I don't assume God to heal though I know He can.  When someone posts a financial need on Facebook I think I should give rather then just tell them I will pray. I don't know what our future holds but I am not quitting my job until I know where the next one is. I wonder if I am found wanting and when God looks over the world to find that faithful person, I am overlooked.

 I look at the select few around and when they speak about their conversations with God, their healing, their word of testimony, their amazing unwavering faith I inevitable compare myself and find myself wanting or at the very least, missing out. I envy their breathless wonder and humble submission and answered prayer.

Walking around in Indonesia you can't help feel like you are a lumbering giant of a person. Everyone is usually smaller than you including the men. It isn't comfortable being larger than everyone in the airport lounge even if it is just my own warped perspective. This is how I feel when I get with people who seem to know God much more than I, or at least trust Him much more than I.

I wonder, though, for most of us it seems...that we in our wrestling, lumbering, non-tactile, faltering faith are as important even if we are not the healed, not the spoken too, not the sure, not the called but unnamed followers of Jesus. Are we also important in that great family if our prayers are not answered and our devotion uninspired? 

Jesus called a few to be His  named disciples though his message of salvation was for the many unnamed. In my preening pride is it OK with me not to be the named one, the healed one, the called one?  I hope so...because I am.

Adventure Withdrawal Syndrome: AWS

Lack of motivation for routine.

Looking too long at trip pictures accompanied by long sighs.

Blueberries don't even taste as good as I thought.

Thinking that flying really isn't that bad.

Lynden in all its beauty isn't warm enough or tropical enough.

People here are just too American and not Indonesian enough.

Think a bit too long about selling everything and wandering the world with a backpack and my dreams.

Burn my back yard bamboo and think about burning the plastic water bottles just to get that evening smell in the air.

Keep hoping that the hotel staff will cook my supper or that it will magical appear as it has or did.

Wondering if it really did all happen because it seems to have happened so long ago. 

AWS...easy to catch not easy to cure.

Post adventure final post

Post adventure final post

 I have always been a bit confused about bucket lists. How are you supposed to know what you should experience if all you do is borrow the idea of the experience from others? For example ....how could I have written down the past few days. Leaving Berastagi to arrive at Bukit Lawang (? Sp) was a trip of winding curves as we descended from the cool of the mountains to the jungle of the plains. Palm oil plantations for acres and as impressive as it is to see, at the same time you know it's destroying the land it grows on. The stats for water consumption alone is staggering and how it destroys the vegetations all around, sad and impressive. Scott was finally feeling a smidge better....not needing to use the facility every hour and under strict guidelines for eating and drinking. I think the man lost about 6 pounds....

 We arrived at the village at the edge of a million hectare reserve. As we settled at the guest house...we were informed that our place was on the rocks...or On the Rocks. 228 steps up we realized why; lovely guest houses with coconut shower heads, mosquito nets and wide open, no screen windows. As we caught ...as I caught my breath, Scott who has been struck with illness the past 4 days still could climb all the way up without a stop, we noticed the trees shaking. There in a tree were monkeys just playing and eating. This was just a foreshadowing.

 Next day....the jungle trek. So, I had a conversation with the Creator. I asked Him if He would nudge the orangutan's our way since it's a huge reserve ... You can always ask, right? So we began. About an hour in...2 males, 2 juveniles a swinging by...JUST like that. There they were...pictures to prove. Coolest EVER! I was just smiling and oohing and all that. We walked up. Down, over up and over...so nice that it was under the canopy and not under the hot sun otherwise we would haven been baked and steamed. This way, we just walked in the sauna all day. It wasn't an easy trek but the rewards so worth it. Lunch of nasi goreng ( fried rice) and fresh fruits...all so good. I would have never put this on my imaginary bucket list, but then if you have one maybe you should.

 We and Mario Andretti as our driver on the way back to Medan. Up till now we have asked all our drivers to pelan pelan ( slow down). This time....let him drive. You begin to realize as you duck and swerve, pass and honk and pass, he knows what he is doing...we hope. We listened to The Scorpions, G and R etc. a lot of the way and as he sang along, talked on his phone , changed gears and passed every car, truck and motorcycle possible...you hang on and enjoy the ride. Yes, I realize , I should have been scared there and not on the airplane today. When we got into the city, he put on his seatbelt ... Maybe it's the law :).

 What a great, wonderful, full, exciting, memorable time this has been. I am sooooo grateful for it all. So many highs, so few lows. So much beauty, such amazing people, such a great family, so much to understand and learn. I felt so often the pleasure of the Creator on His canvas and tapestry of land, sky, animals and people. I'm ready for home, for our kids, for my adopted country. I don't usually have favorites but Indonesia never disappoints. You should come if you can.

Thank you so much for following along.

# Last

Day # Last...Friday 10:57 PM and gangnam style is playing loud enough to hear up in our room. We just finished playing mafia, and as part of the mafia I am pleased to say we won. We just came from our last presentation evening where we glimpsed into the life of the our family down under. Before that we ate supper while being serenaded by a local band. Before that we had a badminton tournament to be called because of lack of light. Before that a whole day of sun, rest, swim and more sun. Before that we said good by to the first leaving...

 Before that we heard that Margaret had passed into the prince of Jesus. It is hard to measure it all. 

Today is our last here and we are already feeling the loss of what was. It took all of us from 8 hours to 24 hours just to fly here and that doesn't count the layovers, taxi ride and ferries. We are in the middle of wonderful and everything worked in our favor; the location, the weather, the isolation, the history , the food, the mix of family , the beauty.

 We start moving out tomorrow. Some a bit farther on together, others all the way back to where they began. It's time to get home though there are some things I haven't missed. I've learned some things about us that makes me, me. It has been such a bonus to be with Daniel and Lois. I've danced with a two year old and had amazing conversations with many. I've so loved to watch the excellence of strengths and the gifts are spouses have been to our family. I'm pretty sure that this group of folks have something special and what we create by our being together is worth the distance, money and time.

A long way baby !

Wednesday , # 3, it's a long way baby, a long way 6:30 PM....my feet are fat because I've been sitting all day. Scott is sleeping in the bed, sick. We went to where it all began for the vdb clan. The birthplace, hanging around place and work place. All on a bus, on narrow narrow roads squeezing into places no self respecting tour bus should be able to squeeze. We found the school, homes and churches. A bus load of westerners descending where I am sure....has NEVER been a tourist destination. We were looked at as intently.

 It's almost time for supper and with all the goings-on in the last few days I really haven't had much time to ponder this hugely diverse family. We are remarkable in a lot of ways....let me tell you a few. Adaptable and we are accommodating and pragmatic. We eat what is given, drink what is available, use squat pots if necessary. We go along but tweak if possible. If the water isn't working, we swim in the lake. The women are strong and confident. The men are the same. The children are in the middle of it all because that's what's family. We drink a lot of beer and smoke them if we have them. We jump in, try out and leave it be. We are so diverse in faith, education, vocation and where we call home. It seems to work...we are family.

 We raised a glass to Margaret tonight. We celebrated Oom Eduard birthday and were introduced to the Verhoeff family and the Maas.