The way it should be done

They set a beautiful table, amazing brunch, dessert and juices. The men folk took the kids to the park and let all us mothers, those of us who were, who will be, who have, who are sit and eat and talk and laugh. We weren't preached at by men who can't begin to understand on a sermon about a mother  who rose above.  We sat and laughed about our stories, about our children, about our mothers about being women. We were allowed the space and time to talk and share and eat....what an amazing gift.
That's a church that gets it.

Being Sad in Joy

I write in the moment and often time it may be  painful.  Yesterday, as it will be for the next few months will be difficult. Most transitions are painful.  I will be sad, there will be tears and I will wonder. I am very grateful in it all...that I will miss my son, and that he is good company and that his adventures in the future are adventures and that he is a noble and a strong man, that he loves Jesus and wants to embrace the world as it it and change it for the good. I am proud of who is becoming and who he wants to become. I am so sad that he has grown up so seemingly fast and yet so excited that he is a quiet, thoughtful, strong-minded, sensitive soul.

Scott and I have never not been parents and this new relationship we will have without the intensity of parenting might be a new wonderful thing.
 It is all out there, and out there is already in the hands of the God who is.

I will be transformed again...in sadness and in joy. That is always the journey.

Not all who wander...or wonder.

I find myself in the month of May, torn.
Between the school year coming to an end, rejoicing and 
the last  graduating, finished.
I not only wander, but I wonder and in my wondering I can get lost.
 I wonder if he is prepared for what is out there. I wonder if I have been the mother that he has needed. I wonder if  he is going away to far, and I will lose him to soon. I wonder if I can un-mother him and let him grow up and away. I wonder where these years have gone and did I really enjoy them like I was told too? 
The sad thing about boys growing up...if they left when they were sophomores...that would have been a relief. If they left as Juniors...they were so often out of the house anyway. Now they leave when they have become such good company...what is with that?
I find myself counting down the days not in the usual ways but in the lingering ways. These hallways will not hold one of mine anymore...I am so sad about this.
I am just sad.