"It takes a long time to grow young"

“For we have sinned and grown old and our Father is younger than we.”           ------G.K. Chesterton

 

 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory are being transformed with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  1 Cor. 3:18

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. Is. 40:3

 

 

“It takes a long time to grow young.”  P. Picaso

 

 “It does not take much to make us realize what fools we are, but the little it takes is long in coming.”
― Flannery O'Connor

You got me when I was an unformed youth, God, and taught me everything I know. Now I'm telling the world your wonders;  I'll keep at it until I'm old and gray. God, don't walk off and leave me until I get out the news Of your strong right arm to this world, news of your power to the world yet to come, Your famous and righteous ways, O God. God, you've done it all! Who is quite like you?  You, who made me stare trouble in the face, Turn me around; Now let me look life in the face. I've been to the bottom;  streaming with honors; turn to me, be tender to me, and I'll take up the lute and thank you to the tune of your faithfulness, God. I'll make music for you on a harp, Holy One of Israel.
  Ps. 71:17-22

Now for something completely different

In my drop box I have a collection of photographs from my youth, my parents youth and pre-children days. I look at my parents...

and think...OK, these cats were cool !
I mean, they should have graced the pages of some Paris style magazine, since that is where these two met each other and lounged gracefully I am sure in some cafe.

In reality, they were in the jungles of Papua, Indonesia. They were raising 3 kids in a tent with no running water with people who had not yet wandered out of the stone-age let alone into the 20th century until My Dad  trekked into their valley September of 1963.   
I am humbled by their stories, their boldness, their trust, their courage... their really cool clothes/style.
Looking at them from this perspective...our generation, we have lost some of the cool and most of the courage.
Me,  looking out from those baby eyes, how could I have known all that was normal for me then is amazing from these 51 year old eyes looking back.

What a legacy ! 

Curtiss Lee

Curtiss would have been 55 years old today. We met at Moody Bible Insititute and married the year we graduated. This picture was taken at CMA conference in Pyramid, Papua on July 13, 1985.  6 months later my Mother left this earth and 14 years later Curtiss followed.
This man captured my heart with his passion for the Lord, his sense of humor, his love for adventure and his love for me. He played scratch golf and wrote poetry. He loved his friends and loved his family and wrestled with demons of addiction and self worth.  To say we had a lovely and peaceful marriage would be false, there were some years that were hellish for both of us. When he died at the early age of 39 he had driven most demons away and had lived shame free for a year. He is the father of both our children and has left his legacy imprinted on their personalities and features.
There are times when I am still angry for the years swallowed by addiction and its aftermath. I have another life now but on this day and April 26th, the anniversary of this death...the life we had comes back into focus. It is strange to speak of a former husband, I know. It is at times awkward when I call Scott, Curtiss though that happens less and less. Most the people I see on a daily basis never knew Curtiss or my life with him. I wonder what my life would have been if he was still in it. If we would have worked through our issues and had a good life. If his love for his kids would have given the impetus to live sober. He was such a good soul, such a peaceful and broken man. When I hear the phrase from Leonard Cohen's , Anthem...

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.


We are all cracked open with our own brokenness...if ever I saw light shine through broken though was in the life of Curtiss Lee.


September 4, 1959 - April 26th, 1999