It has been two whole week since I have posted...anything.

I think it is because I have started a quilt and I find myself drawn to complete that one task. So much of my daily routine is on-going rather then completing. In fact everything is on-going. There isn't much that we can start and finish and then be done. So in making a quilt I find the satisfaction of starting something and then being intimately involved with its completion. Just me and the sewing machine making something out of scraps of material into something I will use and cherish for a long time. It is necessary for me at this time to be doing something with my hands and not so much with my mind. I find that with all that has transpired with me physically in the last few months...ironically, I have been mentally possessed. Trying to solve the conundrums of faith, and American culture and raising teenagers while wondering what I really need to do to make a difference if there is a difference to make at all.
Someone said to me once...and I sure wish I could remember who to give credit where credit is due... that often times life is lived as though we were driving looking at the rear-view mirror. We see where we are going by looking only at where we have come from. So we never go anywhere we just leave where we were...I think that has been me. I don't know how to wrench my face forward...to live expectantly, with anticipation and hope. I want to use the rear-view for what it was intended...to give warning at what may be coming up because of where I have been rather then having where I have been be what I focus on.
We glance at our past to make reference to where we are but not to dictate where we are going or where we should be. Arn't there verses upon verses that tell us to press on, make every effort, forget what is behind, walk by faith not by sight etc.
How do I wrench my head forward...for me a great segue has always been to make something with my hand presently that I will use in the near future. An accomplishment of sorts that is tangible that has nothing whatsoever to do with my past, my angst , my thinking, my desire for credible answers. Making quilts is a very present kind of enterprise. It requires concentration, creativity, practical skills but very little verbal skills. So....looking forward to the road ahead...I am going back to my quilt. :)