We are so petty so often for no reason except that it makes us feel better for the moment. We also have a really hard time letting go of the pettiness against us. Those small bites into someones day eroding the joy that had settled in. I can see it played out this morning in my classroom. The TOEFL scores are out and everyone is in high anxiety wondering how they have done...not only for their own benefit but to compare themselves to the other. One exuberant soul came bouncing in high fiving everyone....he has a really good score. The moment it came out I watched the others laugh at another whose score was less. I wish often that in the competitive Asian culture here at LC they would be less forthcoming about scores and grades. The desire to compare and show up another is so strong that it erodes any sense of good will and community. Inevitable...there is jealousy, envy and pride all mixed in which takes away from any honest accomplishment and congratulations.
This is a present example but I am so petty so often for no reason except that for the moment I feel better about my sense of self. I don't want to be this way, I want to bring to another not take away. I want to be that person that helps repair a breach in their security rather then the one that erodes it away. I guess from my fingers to God's ear....
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