On the eve...

I turn 49 years tomorrow and even though this picture is when I was a bit younger, this may be the vision I have for this last remaining year in the 40's. Age is so relative to perspective, health, outlook, personality and numerous other markers that a number means so little. A baby of 1 month was sent home to his His Heavenly Father just two days ago...and this will be the 3rd this year of babies I knew who had not celebrated their first birthday. These little lives in their moment of earthly time had and continue to impact the lives of those who loved them. So, what really does it mean that I turn 49? As internal as I am, I wonder if I am becoming someone of significance.
I look over the side of this mountain called life and I know longevity isn't promised nor is comfort. I know because the road I have traveled to be here is marked by tragedy and intense joy. I know that relationships matter and that relationships take time. I know that getting things are fun and traveling is so much fun, as I know that having nothing and coming home has its own amazing comfort. I know God is mysterious and I come to Him with much more trepidation for I know what He allows. I know that we all suffer our private griefs and deep sorrows and shame.  I know that we all need more time then we have to be what we want to become. I know that evil is real and that the enemy continues to prowl mercilessly in search of devouring whatever is good.
I sit on the edge of 49 and I am very gratefull for good heatlh, wonderful family, good job and enough to give away. I am also sobered at what may lay ahead....

Psalm 71: 17-21
God, ever since I was young you have taught me about what you have done. To this very day I tell about your wonderful acts.18God, don't leave me even when I'm old and have gray hair. Let me live to tell my children about your power. Let me tell all of them about your mighty acts.19God, your saving acts reach to the skies. You have done great things. God, who is like you?20You have sent many bitter troubles my way. But you will give me new life. Even if I'm almost in the grave, you will bring me back.21You will honor me more and more. You will comfort me once again