Monday on Tuesday: But you said 'No".

So I ask, what will save me what will make me strong?

My limping Hip was pronounced in the last few days as I struggled with God. I was doing my Jacob again  with God on the river banks.

 Every day when possible I walk by our local river, lately running with our dogs Mocha and Chino.  I take this time to pray out loud. Lately as I have worked on my running form, I have been silent. Waiting
It is my where I do my Jacob, I wrestle with God.

The Holocaust is my pivot away from the goodness of God, for in those stories, that evil, that window into the heart of man and the Silence of God I waver in my faith. I cling to what I know of His goodness for the absence of God makes me so afraid. 

I stand in your Holy Throne room
   and tremble in fear and awe
I come anyway not because you are safe
I am still afraid
    mostly of your silence in the face of evil
I come anyway not because you will do what I ask
    for you do not
I come by your invitation, not my absurd idea that I have any righteousness
    or any right
I am not alone when I stand before you
Never alone

Is. 30
Returning and resting will save me
Calmness and Confidence will make me strong
But I said no....

Yet, the Lord is  waiting to show me favor..

Waiting

I will say yes