No, I did not choose Scott with this in mind nor 13 years down the road did I think I would become a spouse of a deployed guardsmen. My wonderful husband who I trust, lean on and rejoice in will be absent from me for a year starting January 2016. I will be that spouse waiting, while he is that spouse serving. Of course, things can change...they can not go, Scott can get disqualified etc. but for now that is the road before us.
When we returned from Papua a few years back, he missed a deployment then and that is a good thing. I was not ready to trust God. I would have thought back then, if I made myself sick with anxiety and stress, of course, God would make it better and change the circumstances. Because like any 2 year old, I could hold my breath long enough and flail around long enough to get my way...right?
I think when God tells us not to be afraid, He is really telling us
Stop thinking we can control everything by worry.
When He says be anxious for nothing, He is saying
Stop holding your breath dear...I know better. I've. Got. This.
'This' being what I am afraid of; losing, death, loneliness, distance, change in him, change in me and on and on it goes.
For YOUR steadfast love IS before my eyes,
AND I will WALK in YOUR faithfulness.
When do I stop holding my breath and start holding His Hand?
Today is a good day.
1 comment:
I am very impressed with the evidence of faith and spiritual growth - as you recognize, you are at a more mature trust level than 2 years ago. May every day going forward be a good day where you find your contentment and peace in God. Blessings and prayers for you and yours. ~ lew
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