THE BEST parenting advice EVER!

 First of all, I have been wanting to write this for awhile. Everyone seems to be giving parents advice these days...thing to remember, the 10 most important things etc. I am going to join the fray but maybe with my little bit of back ground I may have some credibility.
I have parented under difficult circumstance: with an alcoholic, being food-stamp poor, homeless without family.
I have been widowed with 2 young young kids, single parented sent kids off to daycare and started dating.
I then married a wonderful man who became a step father, working through blended family issues.
I have worked full time  outside the home.
I have also worked with teenagers for the last 20 years. I may know some things about what works and what does not. NO Expert, none of us really can be...because our families are unique. BUT...there are some things I would like to say out loud on this matter. 
So here it goes...some things I wish for you to know as you parent in  the stages.

#1.  Tinies and Littles. Yes, the time goes fast, YES they are cuter then cute, YES, they are exhausting and YES, everyone will tell you that.  I was always afraid that once that stage was done, I would lose interest in all the other stages.
Every stage has its awful, its wonderful and its transitions hellishness. You can be sure that one day when it is the most awful some older lady will look into your weary eyes and tell you  to cherish the moment...they go by so fast. AND you ARE THINKING...not fast enough! 
It is common, these ladies ( I am of that age) have very selective memory.

REMEMBER:  Most things can be cured by a nap. Figure out what works for you and work it for you. REALLY, ask and watch what others do, they may have an easier way...try it! There is not a perfect system.  Parenting little people has been done before by many people, you are not the first. FB is ok for posting, phone calls are better for specific. Look around, whose kids do you like? Ask those parents.
The details of this age group are mind numbing...remember it's you they need. your face, your smell, your presence, your laughter. your boobs OR bottle.

What I would have done differently...not cared what everyone else was doing. A template is good for sanity.

#2. Tweens and Teens

I have been working with teenagers for 20 years already.  I was a youth pastor and now work in a High school with teenagers. I realize I have jumped a whole age group, but most of what I will say applies.  I have taught HS seniors a family Psychology class which by its nature delves into how we do family here in the US and over the years I have gleaned some insight.

* The worse thing that can happen to your child is that they no longer want to have a relationship with you. It isn't how they mess up, its how you will when they do.
*The most Toxic parent is the one who thinks they can control the outcome. When you want to control, you think you are God. If you follow God in your desire to control, they will reject not only you but the God you are following.
* Mom's if you are controlling and Dad's you have given up...your kids are not doing well and neither is your marriage.
* If you want your kids to follow Jesus, have a good marriage. If you want your kids to become independent, have a good marriage. If you want to show your kids spiritual leadership, have a good marriage. If you want to be the man of the house, love the woman of the house.
*Mom's if all you think about is your kids and their success...your marriage may not be one. 
* If as parents you have never asked your kids forgiveness for how terribly you screwed  up as a parent for  a lot of things your have said, not said or done. WHY the hell not? If you don't , why should they?
Say it all this way...it makes sense.
I am sorry for  ...................................
it was wrong because  __________________
In the future I will.............................
Will you forgive  me.

THE most IMPORTANT PARENTING ADVICE, it is the most difficult to work on. 

A  GOOD MARRIAGE

It is the center of whatever wheel your family turns on.

I know this is a departure for what I usually write but realized the other day...I know about parenting being in my job...maybe it will be helpful. To be hones thought, those who are willing to change usually are good parents to begin with.  Those who don't, aren't.
I do not speak from a place of perfection..I do speak from experience. On this day...Scott and I are doing well, I am so grateful that we both work hard at this. Mijo and Nick are both pursuing whatever majors I had nothing to do with...we all love each other anyway.