Find me

At the start when Adam and Eve remembered that they were naked and tried to hide, God came looking for them knowing full well where they were." Adam, where are you?" There is something about that phrase that echos throughout the Bible narrative. Where are you? Why are you hiding, why are you so lost? You even hear it with Jesus' 'Where is your faith'.

My prayer is really simple these past few days." God, Please find me!"

I know that if I seek Him I will find Him, only if I seek Him with all of my heart. What happens if my heart isn't really in the search, will He look for me? What would His voice calling me sound like?

After reading the book Eat, Pray and Love, I watched the movie with Julia Roberts. I know why this mediocre travel log and movie resonated with so many women like me. I am at the place in my life where I wonder who is choosing my path in front of me? I don't have the means to drop everything and travel all over the world getting in touch with my wounded self ( synopsis of story) nor do I want to divorce my husband, leave my children and examine my motives in light of a god reflected in Indian Ashram meditations. Living in Bali isn't a bad idea but the problem would be that I and my conflicted self would be there with me and soon enough I would need another place to settle. Looking desperately to settle...
Chino has this bad habit of wrestling with the blanket right before he settles down for a nap. He tears at this blanket jumping back and forth bunching it up in a messed up ball. After a few minutes of this wrestling...he settles but his bed is far from comfortable. It was fine before he started but somehow this wrestling match is important to him. That's me...I find myself wrestling with the good and make it less to find what I thought I needed.

So back to the start...A dear friend told me that I need to choose joy in the middle of the wrestling match. There is so much truth in that. That is one choice I can make about my life. So as God finds me I will be looking for Joy today, in the moment, in the sun that shines, the beauty of this place, the warmth of my home, the love of my family, the goodness of coffee. I can do this today...I will do this today. Happy hunting everyone!