8 years...

I was telling my brother-in-law the other day what was so amazing about being married to Scott. For the first time in my life...I am in a safe place. Scott brings with him a loyalty that frames my fears of abandonment. He brings a protection that is the foundation against my anxiety. He loves that gives me freedom. It has not been an easy 8 years at all: Scotty has lost both his parents, I have suffered major injuries and job loss, we have traveled over seas ( that wasn't hard though), he has worked away from the home more than once, anger/stubbornness and silence has ruled many a day, financial burdens....we have endured and overcome. I can remember a specific time when things were at the bottom...we could not get on the same page no matter what we tried. Scott was going to marriage counseling by himself as I was too stubborn to go...we were ripping each other apart and I was so sure that this person would leave again so I was going to make sure to be preemptive.

I told him he could leave if it was too much for him. He quietly said..."I am not ever going to leave, Heidi...we can have a terrible marriage for the rest of our lives, not what I wanted, but we can because I will never leave you". That turned me around, I breathed again...I was really truly safe.