Cheryl was...and that's it. I'm done trying to make things better. I'm tired of thinking of ways to make sense of this broken place where people die too young leaving sons and daughter and husbands. I don't know if I can do this finding hope in hopeless. I'm so mad I can hardly breath, I'm so sad I can hardly think. I can't pray...maybe it's won't. I will not find the good in this...I will not somehow see how this was all in God's providence. That would make God so petty...
I'm weary to my very soul heavy with the grief of it all.
5 comments:
So sorry to hear of your loss. No clue who or how, but ... thank you for sharing your pain. I read your post today and pause to pray. May you know God with you in the pain and suffering and all that does not make sense. It was never meant to be this way... you're right--some of those 'answers' simply make God petty...
I don't understand God...I always wanted to,thought I should/would, but I give up. I'm not going to try to answer for Him either, or even think that there is an answer...
I believe HE IS,and I will leave it at that. I respect Him...and I trust His authority/power, but the more I know of life, the less I understand, it seems.
I hear your rage and anger. These are likely familiar emotions to you. I'm sure you have been there before with other significant deaths that you have faced. Even if you recognize that this is part of the grief process, it is a difficult phase, isn't it.
What did you learn from the other passings in your life that you can use as stepping stones this time? - lew
I hear your pain - no... I FEEL your pain! You bravely express your feelings and I carry you in my heart and prayers. You are right...some things make absolutely no sense!
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