Target on the back

This isn't a target...it is the dome in our capitol but it looks like a target.
Someone asked me the other day if I was mad at God. I'm not mad...a bit confused but not mad. I'm going to talk a bit about how I think about events like this. Some think that God being sovereign means that God controls everything. I don't believe He controls everything in the sense that we are the puppets under the puppets masters control. Good and bad things happen to us but when the bad happens we so desperately want to figure out why. I don't know if we go through as much scrutiny when good things happen. Do I think I was spared ...absolutely. I also know those who weren't. It is so confusing to try and figure out the why...I'm trying to stay in the what now.
We also know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. I can already see some of the good...I am grateful.
Why in all the trail rides that LC has taken all these years, with all sorts of teachers skilled and unskilled, did I get the privilege of being booted off? Why in all the years of having insurance and nothing happen did the one time we did not have insurance something happen? I don't know...and won't ever...I just need to know...what do I do now?